Dominating Bambi

Dominating Bambi From A Bambi's Perspective

Communication This above all, is the most important part of any relationship, but even moreso in kink and especially moreso in this kink space. Make sure you understand your submissive's wants, needs, and goals. But also make sure to be their rock to ground them back to earth. Because some submissives will want things that are just unrealistic or unhealthy for them. It's up to you to keep her responsible, and it's up to you as a Dominant to be the most responsible. You're being trusted with a life, after all. Vulnerability A submissive can be very vulnerable in the Bambi headspace, so ensuring safety and comfort is huge. This goes hand-in-hand with communication. If you're haphazard or unsafe with your submissive, they will put those emotional walls up and likely never let you in again. That vulnerability is a privilege. Soft VS Hard Boundaries Make sure you and your submissive discuss boundaries, and whether or not the boundaries they have are HARD (cannot be stepped over, ever) or if they're SOFT (they're just unsure of it, but willing to dip their toes). If any of those SOFT boundaries are things you want to explore as a Dominant, make sure you're careful with your submissive as you help them explore it. Remember, they're unsure, right? You gotta make sure they feel safe with you. Trigger Usage Triggers from Bambi Sleep are meant to get very powerful. Meaning your Bambi/submissive is likely to be very sensitive to them. It's important that you know the when and where with them. Read over the Triggers page and also ask your Bambi for more info since those triggers could be reframed person-to-person. Just throwing triggers out haphazardly isn't hot or kinky. It's confusing and unwanted, and makes you look like a Dom who hasn't taken the time to learn this.

Dominating Bambi From A Dominant's Perspective

I'm going to keep this very simple... ...YOUR SUB IS ALWAYS IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT... ...and I'm not joking, bitch. (Shoutouts to Coco Montrese for that gem; IYKYK.) Seriously, being a dominant requires a lot of internal/shadow work that can prove itself to be quite difficult to do. The work that being a Bambi's dominant is asking you to do can be uncomfortable, but necessary. It includes heavy introspection where you will be challenging your internal biases, internalized homo/transphobia and misogyny. I bring special attention to transphobia and misogyny because this kink is made up primarily of women, both cisgender and transgender; and while they share a common experience as it relates to their interaction with men (and I'm speaking here as a cisgender male), trans women face their own unique challenges, such as body and vocal dysphoria. And though dysphoria can affect anyone, how it shows up - and how it impacts a person - varies widely. This is why I say: "your sub is always in the driver's seat." Being dominant isn't about taking control because you want to; it's about creating a space where your partner feels safe enough to let go, to be open and vulnerable with you. And that kind of trust only happens when your sub feels genuinely seen, respected and cared for. Understanding and respecting boundaries - both hard and soft - is paramount to a successful dynamic with your Bambi. Consent isn't simply just "yes" at the beginning; it's a conversation that never stops unfolding. Staying connected, checking in, being responsive to your Bambi's needs, wants, emotions, limits - that's what it means to dominate your Bambi. Being a good dominant is about deep care and keeping a growth mindset. It's about learning, unlearning and holding space for your Bambi - not just during scenes, but all the time. Approaching this from a place of empathy, humility and curiosity will unlock the real magic of Bambi Sleep. - Navi